Jan - March 2012 India Blog 4. On My Own in Mysore

Hi Hi Finn,

You and Beccie…that’s Mummy to you, went home from Cochi and I decided to stay on for a bit. Originally I just thought that I needed to have a bit of time on my own, resting up further and doing things that neither you nor mummy would particularly enjoy.

Perhaps that’s a bit selfish, but there are plenty of times that we simply enjoy different things and tbh, mummy and I were still recovering from the impact of the chantier upon us as a couple. I can’t emphasise how costly these past four years have been personally, on us both. We’ve been stretched inways I doubt we ever thought we would, ironic given that this was a “change of life choice”, but there it is.

Of course you have played such an important part in just keeping the whole thing going, thus Dar Finn, but we still have a long way for us to heal. To be able to put aside the way in which we were simply torn apart, or tore each other apart.

Perhaps we would have had a different experience had we been together, married, en famille, for longer beforehand, thus having more depth of experience of each other, to base our working relationship on.

But in the end there are no “ifs” or “buts” there’s only how it’s been, and it’s been bloody hard. Will we recover? Honestly son, I don’t know. It’s been traumatic and of course it’s difficult for anyone else to understand. We do and maybe that will help.

But so much has happened along the way there can be no doubt that it has effected us, changed us.

I’d just like to thank you for being such a great kid during all of it. I doubt you will remember, or if you’ll give yourself credit. But you were crucial in seeing it through and in us seeing it through together, no matter how damaged.

I expect that if we manage to heal, you’ll also be a major part of that. But whatever happens, remember that we love you and always will.

So anyway there I was on my own in Mysore, which we’d thought of going to together. I was glad that we didn’t as again it was a big town and you’d have hated it. I did find a pool to swim in, which was a refuge and of course made a great contact with Steve (or is it Chris...sorry mate, which ever..it's an age, not an impression thing.

See you at WOMAD ish Allah!), a guy from Hebden Bridge, a mile or so from where you were born.

He’s got a small tour company called Mycycle tours (http://www.mysorecycle.com ) which is great. I loved his cycle tour wheeling around the diverse cultures and communities, sites and scenes of Mysore. A real choice tour company, I wish him the best of luck.

He’s got a partner who does walking tours also and they are really well worth doing also http://www.royalmysorewalks.com We had a wonderful couple of hours walking round the Royal Palace and market again brilliant. I doubt it’ll be still going if you go to Mysore, but check it out just in case anyway…or start up your own…I wonder what you’ll do? Amazing to think of it.

Whatever, ensure you enjoy it, feel it, love it. Money isn’t everything, infact after you’ve enough, it’s really quite irrelevant, what’s important is happiness…be happy my boy, I couldn’t wish you anything else….Oh here’s an image of the Palace at night, simply spectacular!

I’ve a zillion images of the market, which has been there for centuries and so it may well still be there for your visit, and I’m going to simply post various images anywhere, just because there isn’t the room to write about it.

Suffice to say it is a blaze of colour and beauty. People are friendly and warm and inviting. It’s similar to souks in Fez/Morocco, but different. The importance of flowers to Hindus is clear. I’m amazed at how they sell everything.

Anyway, I hope that this gives you an impression of what it was like. I missed you and though I’d planned to come back in three weeks, I got a flight after a week.

There was simply too much to do back in Fez to have more time away and though we still had lots of work to do on us and there were definitely tensions, it was time to get back and finish the work…but without the chantier..ahhhhhh…bliss!

I said back in Dec/Jan that I'd be really interested to see how this year pans out. My 40s have been very hard work.

Of course there's been amazing rewards, you for example, and hopefully much, much more. It's been a time of sowing seeds and hoping they'll be worth the work to harvest. It's funny,m this is sort of similar to my 20's when I worked hard to get what and where I wanted, studying and working and being in some very challenging places, but always with the belief that I was going in the right direction, my direction.

I can't say I'm quite so sure now. Dar Finn is amazing, but it's not really my cup of tea. Xaouen is and I hope we'll get that going. But perhaps it's just a longer and windier path...we'll see. Regardless, I just have to say, I love you and thank you.