Jan - March 2012 India Blog 5. Thayam

Hi Finn,

Look this is a bit of a self indulgence and I know that I dragged you and mummy off to see this, which meant getting up to bang, bash and rattle down potted tracks well before sunrise, but I simply thought that these Thayam were some of the most spectacular things that we saw whilst in India this time.

One of the things that I love about India is the spirituality. In truth that’s also one of the things I love about Africa. Not the sanitised spirituality of European Christianity, but something more aesthetic, earthy, connected to a spirit world that has it’s roots in a love of Earth, Mother Earth, Gaya.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not any sort of believer and I know that much religion hinders scientific progress, notably in health and sickness. But what id can provide is a close link and respect for our planet and that is something that we in the west have simply forgotten.

As we view our planet, it’s resources and ourselves in monetary terms, we lose sight of what is truly valuable and our increasing movement to urban lifestyles, distanced so much from nature and our own planet, exchanging that instead for “concrete jungles” and “park life”, we lose sight of the wealth we have had for millennia and of our need to connect with it.

This is, I suppose one of the reasons why I have loved working in rural Africa. It helps me breath, feel as if I have a connection with a heritage that feels integral but distant to me. I reach out for that. It is perhaps why I feel more inclined to commit myself to our project in Xaouen, than to the one we have in Fez.

Don’t get me wrong, Fez is amazing but even in Morocco, I know I feel more at ease when in the countryside. I loved that last trip away and every time we/I go camping, it’s simply being out doors that invigorates me. Like I say I can breath.

If there was a plan it was to ensure that what we do here can free us/me to do what I have wanted to originally, that is to say to develop something rural, maybe in Morocco, maybe more south in Africa, or in Asia. I feel at home now in Morocco, even in Fez, though as I write it’s wet and cold. But I feel that I live here, which I haven’t been able to say for ages, not since first leaving Savernake and going to Somalia.

Somehow just before I left on the beginning of the road I had worked so hard to access, I felt that I had everything I wanted; a good home, great friends, a job I enjoyed and inner peace. Doing this work here has challenged, if not fractured many of those components, but I now hope that what we have will again provide that.

I can’t help thinking that I knew all along that this wasn’t quite what I wanted to do, and that in fact a return to the “field” was really it. But I wanted to be independent and the burdens we have had to bear are the price of tat. We’ll see.

So what am I trying to say here? I don’t know, only that there is a need to understand ones self, ones inner self and to connect seriously with it. If there is a freedom in the world, it is to be able to live at one with that, that is to be happy in oneself. I hope we will get there, I think we might, but this has been a difficult road we’ve taken to find it.

I look forward to spending more time back in the bush, more time thinking with a spiritual head...does that sound silly? But it's me, somewhere it's where I belong. Perhaps that's why I've never settled in Uk, it lacks that "spirituality" that I feel in Africa, in the developing world. I was touched by it when I traveled to India back in 1984 and it changed my life. I'm grateful for it and all that I've experienced, but it's had a terrible cost.

Would I have been happier if I'd not left in 84 or gone to Somalia and stayed in Savernake? I don't know and it's irrelevant. I've had a great life, if recently it's more difficult. But it's a great life and there is so much to be happy for.

I'm off to Tajikistan in a couple of days and already I miss you. I look forward to going and being in a whole new part of the world and I love that I question going, because it shows that I feel good being here. But I also look forward doing a job that I do well...or at least I used to. But putting my mind back in action, as in Haiti, will be a wonderful challenge...it will also be great to see Yurts in action.

But you see, I think that's it, I long to start a project that is mine and that I "feel" for and whilst Xaouen isn't what I thought that would be, it's as close as I've come so far, so bring it on. Shoot for the dream, but make sure it is the dream that you want...that is you.

Anyway, these are some images of the Thayam that I went to. Have a look at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theyyam to get some sort of explanation. But equally go out and explore. See, feel and question. Your world will be very different from mine. The challenges you will face will be greater I am sure. But we live in a wonderful, beautiful, diverse and multi layered world that has much more to it than what seems to be our over riding paradigm of happiness from the west. Look, and look some more.

XXX

Jan - March 2012 India Blog 4. On My Own in Mysore

Hi Hi Finn,

You and Beccie…that’s Mummy to you, went home from Cochi and I decided to stay on for a bit. Originally I just thought that I needed to have a bit of time on my own, resting up further and doing things that neither you nor mummy would particularly enjoy.

Perhaps that’s a bit selfish, but there are plenty of times that we simply enjoy different things and tbh, mummy and I were still recovering from the impact of the chantier upon us as a couple. I can’t emphasise how costly these past four years have been personally, on us both. We’ve been stretched inways I doubt we ever thought we would, ironic given that this was a “change of life choice”, but there it is.

Of course you have played such an important part in just keeping the whole thing going, thus Dar Finn, but we still have a long way for us to heal. To be able to put aside the way in which we were simply torn apart, or tore each other apart.

Perhaps we would have had a different experience had we been together, married, en famille, for longer beforehand, thus having more depth of experience of each other, to base our working relationship on.

But in the end there are no “ifs” or “buts” there’s only how it’s been, and it’s been bloody hard. Will we recover? Honestly son, I don’t know. It’s been traumatic and of course it’s difficult for anyone else to understand. We do and maybe that will help.

But so much has happened along the way there can be no doubt that it has effected us, changed us.

I’d just like to thank you for being such a great kid during all of it. I doubt you will remember, or if you’ll give yourself credit. But you were crucial in seeing it through and in us seeing it through together, no matter how damaged.

I expect that if we manage to heal, you’ll also be a major part of that. But whatever happens, remember that we love you and always will.

So anyway there I was on my own in Mysore, which we’d thought of going to together. I was glad that we didn’t as again it was a big town and you’d have hated it. I did find a pool to swim in, which was a refuge and of course made a great contact with Steve (or is it Chris...sorry mate, which ever..it's an age, not an impression thing.

See you at WOMAD ish Allah!), a guy from Hebden Bridge, a mile or so from where you were born.

He’s got a small tour company called Mycycle tours (http://www.mysorecycle.com ) which is great. I loved his cycle tour wheeling around the diverse cultures and communities, sites and scenes of Mysore. A real choice tour company, I wish him the best of luck.

He’s got a partner who does walking tours also and they are really well worth doing also http://www.royalmysorewalks.com We had a wonderful couple of hours walking round the Royal Palace and market again brilliant. I doubt it’ll be still going if you go to Mysore, but check it out just in case anyway…or start up your own…I wonder what you’ll do? Amazing to think of it.

Whatever, ensure you enjoy it, feel it, love it. Money isn’t everything, infact after you’ve enough, it’s really quite irrelevant, what’s important is happiness…be happy my boy, I couldn’t wish you anything else….Oh here’s an image of the Palace at night, simply spectacular!

I’ve a zillion images of the market, which has been there for centuries and so it may well still be there for your visit, and I’m going to simply post various images anywhere, just because there isn’t the room to write about it.

Suffice to say it is a blaze of colour and beauty. People are friendly and warm and inviting. It’s similar to souks in Fez/Morocco, but different. The importance of flowers to Hindus is clear. I’m amazed at how they sell everything.

Anyway, I hope that this gives you an impression of what it was like. I missed you and though I’d planned to come back in three weeks, I got a flight after a week.

There was simply too much to do back in Fez to have more time away and though we still had lots of work to do on us and there were definitely tensions, it was time to get back and finish the work…but without the chantier..ahhhhhh…bliss!

I said back in Dec/Jan that I'd be really interested to see how this year pans out. My 40s have been very hard work.

Of course there's been amazing rewards, you for example, and hopefully much, much more. It's been a time of sowing seeds and hoping they'll be worth the work to harvest. It's funny,m this is sort of similar to my 20's when I worked hard to get what and where I wanted, studying and working and being in some very challenging places, but always with the belief that I was going in the right direction, my direction.

I can't say I'm quite so sure now. Dar Finn is amazing, but it's not really my cup of tea. Xaouen is and I hope we'll get that going. But perhaps it's just a longer and windier path...we'll see. Regardless, I just have to say, I love you and thank you.

Jan - March 2012 India Blog 3. Cushy in Cochi

Well Finn,

After time out in the north we all decided that it was time to retreat again to the beach and in fact to try to find somewhere where there was a sense of tourism.

This has been a strong learning curve for us, and me especially. In Morocco we’re independent and can travel where and when we want (well when we can), because we have habiby and Rusty.

Prior to that we or I at least, travelled alone and it didn’t really matter how or when you got to your destination…if there was a destination! But with you now we need to think again about this. A couple of destinations at most is now a much.

Quality time spent in one place, with perhaps some local travel, but generally thinking about what will be best for you, which is also best for us!

Thus we spent more time in Kannur. It had beaches and friends for you. To travel is too difficult without our own transport…it’ll be interesting to see how this effects our future plans…I think we’re talking house swops and maybe spending time in a few of those valleys I visited in Sth Morocco!

So, we ended up going to Fort Cochi and based ourselves there for a week. Unfortunately I don’t have many images of the wealth of the place, but I can show you how multi cultural it was. Buddhist, Christians, Muslims, Hindus, jews all mixed up….oops and of course there are always those amazing Chinese fishing nets to remind us of links to the east!

This was also reflected in the architecture, art and art cafes and green spaces which was stunning, we all loved it. I must admit I was very sceptical and happy to be proved wrong.

It also reminded me of Zanzibar with the mix of Arab and Indian culture and of course we all loved the chance to eat pizza, drink beer with ease and just…be on holiday!

Jan - March 2012 India Blog 2. Away in Waynard

So there we were Finn,

enjoying the beach, curries and beer and suddenly we decided to move north. I think we just wanted to have a look somewhere else, but TBH it was a whole new experience “travelling” with you, our bags and the unknown.

As I say we wanted to try to stay clear of the madding crowd, but in doing that we ended up going not only where there were no crowds, but nowhere to stay. It was great to try out a local form of backwater trips. These were infact local taxis that took us through a series of islands and arrived and left exactly on time.

We arrived at Vaiyaparamba where we’d read that there was somewhere to stay. So we asked and were invited in the direction of a hut on the beach to drink chai and meet the locals. Everyone was incredibly friendly and there was the promise of somewhere to stay. We waited on the beach until we realised that the accommodation was a hovel at the far end of the island and the last “bus” to the mainland left in 10 minutes. A dash across the island, bags bumping and bopping and phew…we only just got it……

From the backwaters we decided to go off to see the wildlife in Wayanard. It was a bit disappointing, especially having spent so much wildlife in Africa, but you loved the monkeys, though the rest left you snoozing.

What was gorgeous in Wayanard was the countryside. It’s difficult again comparing with Africa, the game parks simply don’t compare and in many ways I prefer the countryside in Morocco, but there’s no denying how stunning and lush some of the hills wer

Walking along rivers at dusk was a joy and although it’s somewhat romantic to view daily bathing in rivers as a wonderful way to clean yourself, I remember living in Congo and washing in Lake kivu each morning and yes it was wonderful.

What you don’t have in Africa are autorickshaws and we certainly had our fill of those. What a racket, but in many ways, what fun. Then again there’s the chance to travel in those great old Indian Taxis.

Fun, yes, we enjoyed that…but somehow I missed Habiby and yes, I know that I dreamt of coming back with a vehical and driving through Asia…now there’s a good road trip…d’ya fancy that? I hope so…let’s see what the future brings.

Our final stop in Wayanard was to ride on an elephant. Back 30 years ago, I remember hitching a lift on an elephant and staying with a guy who owned one. It was a joy and whilst I loved you having fun on this one, somehow it felt wrong. The elephant was simply trudged up and down a track with no other elephants for company. Knowing how intelligent these animals are, I don’t think I’d do this again.

But, what there was always was yet more excellent food. This might be in homestays or in towns or out in the bush. I love Indian food and it’s diversity…yum.

You’ll get it one day, or it won’t be for our want of trying.