Hi
Finn,
Look this is a bit of a self indulgence and I know that I dragged you and mummy off to see this, which meant getting up to bang, bash and rattle down potted tracks well before sunrise, but I simply thought that these Thayam were some of the most spectacular things that we saw whilst in India this time.
One of the things that I love about India is the spirituality. In truth that’s also one of the things I love about Africa. Not the sanitised spirituality of European Christianity, but something more aesthetic, earthy, connected to a spirit world that has it’s roots in a love of Earth,
Mother Earth, Gaya.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not any sort of believer and I know that much religion hinders scientific progress, notably in health and sickness. But what id can provide is a close link and respect for our
planet and that is something that we in the west have simply forgotten.
As we view our planet, it’s resources and ourselves in monetary terms, we lose sight of what is truly valuable and our increasing movement to urban lifestyles, distanced so much from nature and our own planet, exchanging that instead for “concrete jungles” and “park life”, we lose sight of the wealth we have had for millennia
and of our need to connect with it.
This is, I suppose one of the reasons why I have loved working in rural Africa. It helps me breath, feel as if I have a connection with a heritage that feels integral but distant to me. I reach out for that. It is perhaps why I feel more inclined to commit myself to our project in Xaouen, than to the one we have in Fez.
Don’t get me wrong, Fez is amazing but even in Morocco, I know I feel more at ease when in the countryside. I loved that last trip away and every time we/I go camping, it’s simply being out doors that invigorates me. Like I say I can breath.
If there was a plan it was to ensure that what we do here can free us/me to do what I have wanted to originally, that is to say to develop something rural, maybe in Morocco, maybe more south in Africa, or in Asia. I feel at home now in Morocco, even in Fez, though as I write it’s wet and cold.
But I feel that I live here, which I haven’t been able to say for ages, not since first leaving Savernake and going to Somalia.
Somehow just before I left on the beginning of the road I had worked so hard to access, I felt that I had everything I wanted; a good home, great friends, a job I enjoyed and inner peace. Doing this work here has challenged, if not fractured many of those components, but I now hope that what we have will again provide that.
I can’t help thinking that I knew all along that this wasn’t quite what I wanted to do, and that in fact a return to the “field” was really it. But I wanted to be independent and the burdens we have had to bear are the price of tat. We’ll see.
So what am I trying to say here? I don’t know, only that there is a need to understand ones self, ones inner self and to connect seriously with it. If there is a freedom in the world, it is to be able to live at one with that, that is to be happy in oneself. I hope we will get there, I think we might, but this has been a difficult road we’ve taken to find
it.
I look forward to spending more time back in the bush, more time thinking with a spiritual head...does that sound silly? But it's me, somewhere it's where I belong. Perhaps that's why I've never settled in Uk, it lacks that "spirituality" that I feel in Africa, in the developing world. I was touched by it when I traveled to India back in 1984 and it changed my life. I'm grateful for it and all that I've experienced, but it's had a terrible cost.
Would I have been happier if I'd not left in 84 or gone to Somalia and stayed in Savernake? I don't know and it's irrelevant. I've had a great life, if recently it's more difficult. But it's a great life and there is so much to be happy for.
I'm off to Tajikistan in a couple of days and already I miss you. I look forward to going and being in a whole new part of the world and I love that I question going, because it shows that I feel good being here. But I also look forward doing a job that I do well...or at least I used to. But putting my mind back in action, as in Haiti, will be a wonderful challenge...it will also be great to see Yurts in action.
But you see, I think that's it, I long to start a project that is mine and that I "feel" for and whilst Xaouen isn't what I thought that would be, it's as close as I've come so far, so bring it on. Shoot for the dream, but make sure it is the dream that you want...that is you.
Anyway, these are some images of the Thayam that I went to. Have a look at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theyyam to get some sort of explanation. But
equally go out and explore. See, feel and question. Your world will be very different from mine. The challenges you will face will be greater I am sure. But we live in a wonderful, beautiful, diverse and multi layered world that has much more to it than what seems to be our over riding paradigm of happiness from the west. Look, and look some more.
XXX